Yes to RH Bill!... if....

The battle cry of the Reproductive Health Bill (RH Bill) has always been the health and freedom of women. Hurray for women’s rights!

I am serious. Hurray for women’s rights!

Yes, hurray for women’s rights!

And if I were given the chance to make some adjustments to the RH Bill -- as a service to the battle cry of women -- let me suggest the following 5 points:

1) Limit sexual education to only the boys because they grow up to be the macho in society and treat women as the real “lesser sex”. They grow up seeing them as meat to be looked at, admired, licked, touched, fondled, kissed... raped! In addition to this, they must be taught all the negative characteristics of the female sex so that they can become biased and will always be cautious when they encounter women in school, work, and formal or informal gatherings. Sex Education for Boys only! ... just let the women memorize their rights.

2) For the time being, do not allow circumcision in any way and in any place, whether in hospitals or hidden alleys, with anaesthesia or not, by a nurse or a manunuli. This will be a good prevention for the teenagers for the next 5 - 8 years so that they do not engage in any premarital sex with their temporary girlfriends. The Filipino male psyche dictates that they rather hide their “junior” rather than show it in all its awe and glory because they are afraid to be laughed at and called “supot”... more so by a girl!

3) Mandatory overtime for all males, both white collar and blue collar. They should be given 16-hour work days, 7 days a week -- yes, no holiday! In that way, when they go home, they are so tired and will just doze off. For those who do not have work, local governments are compelled to gather all the unemployed males to clean every nook and corner of the town or city or even participate in day or night jobs repairing sidewalks, repainting, pulling up every blade of out-of-place grass, cut trees, fill potholes, etc. It will be a wonder to behold that every Filipino place is clean because of this. Yes, we’ll even beat Japan when it comes to cleanliness!

4) Remove all Value Added Tax in every commodity and service and just concentrate the usual planned collection from VAT by putting more tax on every bottle or can of liquor, making the cheapest gin become equal to the most expensive champagne. In this way, there will be no poor man who comes home drunk and just force himself to his wife. On the contrary, with the new work-hours, they will be so tired, they will not even have the power to change their own clothes and just go straight to bed. They will stink so much, their wives will never even allow them to sleep beside them.

5) Give more power to the MTRCB so that they can just plainly say YES or NO to a show or movie that show women dancing in skimply clothes even in noontime or primetime. YES, to say, it can be shown. NO, to immediately cancel the show. No suspensions. No TRO. Just YES or NO.

Yes to RH Bill!... on one condition: only if they change the usual doubtful provisions with the 6 points I have put here.