45 LESSONS

Today I turn 45.  
And today, I look back and 
just randomly retrieve from my heart 
45 lessons I have learned through life.  
These are in random order.  
Please read them with a grain of salt, 
a pinch of humor 
and a prayer of gratitude.  

1) Show kindness and make sure someone who is pregnant lives in a relaxed and pleasant condition.  Say good words, talk to the baby inside and tell the baby we can’t wait to see him.  If not, he might not even want to be born.  

2) If you are a father, be present, be encouraging, show good example, be firm but be kind. You are needed for your child’s whole personality and values. 

3) If you are a mother, be calm.  Your voice has more decibels and is naturally high.  It does not need to be raised with panic when your child does something wrong. 

4) If you are a parent, stop bad and discouraging words when your kids say them to each other.   Even if it might sound funny and teasing, never laugh.  Stop them. 

5) Make sure your child’s godparents are truly God-fearing, have a great respect for Religion and the Church, have self-control, moderation and have good example in word and deed.  That is why they are “GODparents”.  

6) Make sure that your older kids say kind and encouraging words to their younger siblings.  They are good for forming a healthy self-esteem. 

7) Do not laugh at the mistakes of children.  It would encourage a secretive attitude.  He will hide shameful things in his life, will never admit them and will bring them to his grave.  

8) Correct anything wrong with reason and not with a loud voice. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2606443/Why-I-stop-shouting-little-boy-This-confession-mother-three-year-old-shock-tweak-consciences.html

9) Your kids are human.  They are not robots, servants, statues or even feces. (Based on true statements!)

10) No name-calling.  No branding.  No biased adjectives that stick to a child’s way of looking at himself.   The first person who should be careful of blurting out adjectives at home should actually be the parent. 

11) Love prayer.  Love God.  Go to church.  Pray.  BUT BE CONSISTENT.  Your children have to see that what you believe and pray are worth living. 

12) Respect to those older than you is a basic thing in educating a child.  But it is not the reason for them to be at their elder’s beck and call. 

13) Never compare your kids’ performance, achievements and personalities in school or out of school. 

14) Your kids are not your source of entertainment, but your source of joy.  If they don’t want to sing or dance in front of you, even if they just feel embarrassed, don’t bribe them with rewards or make them feel guilty that you won’t love them anymore. 

15) Your kids are not measured by the grades written on their report cards. 

16) Never share your anger or disappointments to those around you, as if they also have to get angry and disappointed because you are.  Anger and disappointment… they are, indeed, contagious… and deadly, too!

17) PRAY THE ROSARY AS A FAMILY… DEVOTEDLY, CONSCIENTIOUSLY, CONSISTENTLY. 

18) PRAY BEFORE AND AFTER MEALS.  Food will always be a blessing.  

19) MORNING and EVENING PRAYERS… TOGETHER!   Prayers with a FAMILY DIMENSION make your sense of Faith more “Church”, more “communitarian” and never merely personal. 

20) Your Family Altar is not a decoration.  IT IS THE FAMILY ALTAR.  HAVE THE FAMILY GATHER THERE so that you can pray your MORNING and EVENING PRAYERS, TOGETHER. 

http://www.catholichomeandgarden.com/Why_Keep_A_Catholic_Home.htm

21) Punctuality in Church is important.  Leave early for church.  Prepare for the Mass inside the church while waiting for It to start.  Stay a bit after Mass to pray your thanksgiving.  Avoid greeting friends and relatives inside the church itself.  They’ll have their time.  PRIORITIZE JESUS first!

22) If you are a teacher, don’t air your dismay about one pupil’s low or failing test grade in front of the whole class.  That child will eventually come to hate that particular subject. 

23) If you are a school staffer, open your eyes more.  The middle and high school boys love to bully and pick on the primary school kids. 

24) If you are a school staffer, be professional.  Even if the other person in front of you is merely a primary school kid, you get part of salary from his tuition. 

25) When teaching kids a song, make sure you know the song very well… VERY, VERY WELL!

26) Trusting your kids builds their sense of responsibility and self-esteem. 

27) Never laugh at your kids’ defeat in any game, no matter how trivial it may be.   It will make him ashamed of himself and may even hate the game he lost. 

28) Make your older kids be aware and accept the reality that whatever they think, say or do, will all have a great influence on the character and/or weakness of their younger siblings. 

29) When your kids ask you things are not supposed to be fit for kids, don’t tell them, “Don’t say that!  Don’t ask that!  You’re still a kid!”  That will make him suspiciously curious and will look for the answer himself.  

30) Listen to your kids when they talk, no matter how childish it may seem.  Your child actually thinks he is saying something very important… VERY, VERY IMPORTANT.

31) Never call your kid to stand from the table during meals just to say something important or even to scold him.  Let him finish his meal first. 

32) Never wake your child from his sleep just to scold him.  Who knows, sleeping was his petty escape from the ill feeling of doing something bad.  

33) Never exaggerate your anger.  Things do not need to be damaged because you are angry. 

34) Don’t make fun of others who are serious of who they are and what they have to do.  They also have their own way of loosening up. 

35) Praise the effort, not the result.  

http://idillionaire.net/blog/page/6/

36) Your children are not your trophies.  Their achievements are commendable.  But they are not decorations that they carry later in life, especially in moments of failure.  Take note, they don’t wear their medals the day after graduation!

37) Even superiors, teachers, parents and elders have the right to apologize when they make mistakes.  Oh yes, they have to!

38) Offering one’s irritation when it’s too hot, too rainy or plainly dull weather for the Poor Souls in Purgatory is really worth it!

39) No matter how much you get away from something you don’t like or you think you don’t deserve, it will always haunt you.  Escaping from something will never be a solution.  Facing it will.  

40) If you feel bad and want to air out your grievances to your friend or relative, make sure it is not his birthday.  Don’t ruin his birthday.  It only comes ONCE A YEAR!

41) No matter how fast you type on the computer keyboard, writing with your own hand, filling a page with your handwriting is worth it!   Write about your day, EVERYDAY!

42) Be who you are.  No, not who you are as your “identity”… that is already presumed.  BE WHO YOU ARE.  If you are married, be a faithful married person.  If you are single, be an integrated single person.  If you are a priest or a religious, LET THE WORLD KNOW.  Leave the “undercover job” to the lay. 

43) To know yourself is important… not to make an array of justification for your own weaknesses, but to make use of the gifts that God has given you.

44) A regular, consistent prayer time everyday gives you a clear mind and balanced heart. 

45) Devotion to Holy Eucharist.  Devotion to Mary.  Devotion to the Pope.  Devotion to the Church.   Heaven is the goal.  If one has to deserve it, he has to work for it!

http://www.catholiclane.com/blessed-pope-john-paul-ii-and-st-don-bosco’s-dream-of-the-two-columns/st-don-boscos-two-column-dream/

Oh, there are still a lot more. 
But they are the more insistent 45 this day!
I am sure you also have 
your own set of lessons.
I look forward for more. 
But please, with the many things 
that have stressed me through the years... 
I don't think I'd even have another 45!