THE TENTH DAY

So… what are the things I have been learning so far these past days?

That literally “doing nothing” makes you more ready to be silent and to listen. 

That being silent makes you more sensitive to the SIGNS God gives you. 

That being sensitive to the SIGNS makes you more aware of what you feel.

That being aware of what you feel makes you more ready to face your own fears. 

That facing your own fears, you come to realize that the only thing that matters is TRUST IN GOD. 

I am a person who loves to plan.  I love organization.  I love order and flow of things.  And faced with uncertainty since the time I arrived in the Philippines last August 2, the only choice I had to do was FACE UNCERTAINTY itself.   All along, my mind was bothered by questions like, “What do I do now?  Where should I go?”  But these questions pale in comparison to just literally doing nothing.  That is the point where God enters. 

I still have questions in my mind.  But I have opted not to ask them anymore.  I have decided to be PASSIVE this time.  Fear and doubt still cling.  They are like cobwebs that hang with determination on the window frame.  And this is a constant deciding to look beyond the window and appreciate the view.  

I still have issues to face.  But I have opted not to rush.  They will have their time.  I have decided to bring that TRUST IN GOD in this field as well… that God will bring me to the right people who will be willing to journey with me. 

I still have uncertainties before me.  But I have opted to accept them as “given factors” in life.  I have decided to appreciate what is given before me by God:  these great priests around me, their good example, their dedication, their peculiarities, too!… this time with them, their insights and reflections, their opinions and news, their wit and jokes (that really make me laugh my heart out almost everyday… it has been 15 years that I have not laughed like this!)… and of course, their simplicity and devotion in Prayer.  I cannot but treasure these days here.  

So… what have I been learning so far?  

That TRUSTING IN GOD is hard but possible. 

That possible things are made so by God. 

That God will always be there in every step of this journey. 

… and that I TRUST HE HAD ALWAYS BEEN SO even before this one.

… Grace upon grace has been given to me by God these days.  Lord, I hope You will be so kind to wait a little more… before I make a real, definite response.

(And to you, who have just read this, please say one Hail Mary for me.   I keep you, too, in my prayers.)